Michael's Thoughts
by Rugelach
Summary: Michael's thoughts on the second book of Princess Diaries.
1. Monday, October 20

_A/N: Review, please! Reviews motivate me to go on, so please do it! This is my first actual Princess Diaries fanfic, since the first one was a complete and utter failure. Hope you bear with this one! Thanks!_

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of the series, or the actual series, Princess Diaries. Copyright goes to Meg Cabot.

**Monday, October 20, School**

So,

I am once again in this godforsaken school known as Albert Einstein High. AS PER USUAL, my raving psychopath of a sister, Lilly, was ranting about something I couldn't care less listen to, while we were in Mia's limo.

And Mia…? Well, she looked like she just ate a sock.

And now I know why.

At least, my _sister_ knows why.

And she wouldn't _freaking_ tell me.

But even if she did, I don't think I would be able to believe her anyway since she's practically psychotic and, possibly, a genetic mutant (if genetic mutants were geniuses).

Anyway, here's the story:

So, I was in G&T, typing on my laptop for my webzine, Crackhead, when Lilly shouts in this booming voice: "Oh my God! Is there something about your date with Josh Richter that you didn't tell me?"

At first, I was really irritated. I was about to tell Lilly to shut up when the words she had said – or shouted – had finally sunk in.

OK, hold up.

What was Lilly _talking _about?

I looked at Mia. She wasn't saying anything. She just stared at pug-faced Lilly for a second (I wonder how she could do that, since I can't _stand _the ugly, demented face of my sister), and quickly exited whatever site she was looking at on her laptop…

Then Lilly was all, "Oh, my God, Mia, why didn't you tell me? Mia, _why didn't you tell me?"_

Mia was getting pink really fast, and tried to convince Lilly that she was just doing an extra-credit report for Biology… but I, due to my sixth sense, knew that Mia was lying. And Lilly did too.

Something was definitely up.

How did I know?

Well, besides my sixth sense, Mia suddenly changed the topic and said something about alfalfa sprouts. The thing was, Lilly wasn't really listening – she was just staring at Mia, wide-eyed like a tarsier, and kept going on and on about Mia and that jerk of a jock, Josh Richter.

What did Mia say in her defense?

Nothing. Nada. _Nil_.

But then again, how could she talk when Lilly kept blabbing about that alcoholic, stupid, user, jerko ex-boyfriend of hers?

Anyway, after a while, I tutored Mia with her Algebra (since she was flunking at the subject), and I couldn't help but notice – it was like she was staring _right through her Algebra I book._ I mean, yeah, she does that all the time, but that's just because she usually pays more attention to _me_. Today, she really _was_ staring right through the book, and neither was she listening to my lecture about slopes. I tried to get her attention back by constantly brushing her leg, but she wouldn't budge. She would escape from her fantasy world for a minute, and then go _right back_ out of reality.

_Later..._

I want to call Mia, but that would be too weird. Plus, my parents have this really strict schedule of not calling anyone by 11 pm.

But… Mia's online! Curiosity kills. I _need_ to ask her. _Why_ can't Lilly just tell me instead?

Oh, right – because she's a crazy, psychotic, sadistic, genetic mutant Einstein.

CracKing: What was with you at school today? It was like you were off in this whole other world or something.

FtLouie: I don't have the slightest idea what you are talking about. Nothing is wrong with me. I'm totally fine.

Not so sure about _that._

CracKing: Well, I got the impression that you didn't hear a word that I said about negative slopes.

FtLouie: I heard everything you said about negative slopes. Given slope m, +y intercept (0, b) equation y+mx+b Slope-intercept

OK, WHAT? Note: this just proves that Mia wasn't paying attention to me – I mean, my lecture on Algebra – during G&T.

CracKing: WHAT?

FtLouie: Isn't that right?

CracKing: Did you copy that out of the back of the book?

..

Mia hasn't answered yet.

Something is _definitely_ up.

And she definitely _did_ copy that out of the back of the book.

**AGENDA FOR TOMORROW:**

Find out what's troubling Mia by doing either:

- Squeezing the truth out of Lilly (Won't work. She's a crazy Einstein. She'll know what I'm up to.)

- Ask Mia myself (How? And it's not like she would even bother telling me the truth, anyway.)


	2. Tuesday, October 21

**Tuesday, October 21**

I was planning to talk to Mia about last night's episode of Buffy the vampire slayer when Lilly told me that Mia wasn't going to school after all.

Mia was sick. And school without Mia is – well, probably the most boring place on Earth.

At least I was able to concentrate on working on my webzine, Crackhead…

Well, not really, since I kept on glancing on Mia's empty chair during G&T, wishing that, by some godly miracle, Mia would suddenly appear there and declare her love for me.

Hey, it could happen!

In my dreams, that is.

And, though this day was probably the most boring day of my life, I found out something interesting…

And not just the usual _boring_ "interesting", either

No.

But I really wish I hadn't _realized_ that "thing" because thinking about it makes me want to _sooo_ badly pierce down a fist through Kenny's throat.

It's just a sad fact that when you've got psychoanalysts for parents, you tend to psychoanalyze random people as well, even if you don't want to. It's an unwanted gift.

ANYWAY, before it got out that Mia was a princess, I had a… you know… just a _little_ crush on her… and I still do. I'm not going to deny it. Only, there was someone else who liked Mia…

And that _someone_ is the aforementioned KENNY SHOWALTER.

Yes, Kenny Showalter – that wimp (not to be mean, but it's the truth) from freshman year who has Bio classes with Mia and is, apparently, Mia's lab partner. Wait. Don't think I'm a stalker. I just, well, _know_. Though I don't know how exactly I found out (I think Mia mentioned it to me once). Anyway, I had the idea that Kenny has this "thing" for Mia, but I doubted it. Ever since, I stopped paying much attention to him until…

TODAY.

Yes, _today._

During the Computer Club's meeting

Yessss. Apparently, That Little Wimp was a little light-headed during the meeting and kept asking everyone in the club what happened to Mia, but since he couldn't get any straight answers from anyone (since everyone else was practically buried into their laptops), he decided to ask me.

_Me._

Because I just so happen to be the brother of Mia's best friend.

And, what is the harm in asking your _future-girlfriend-in-your-dreams_' best friend's brother, really?

Oh, nothing much… just a short trip to hell, I guess… with a deformed figure at the side.


	3. Thursday, October 23

_A/N: I just realized my mistake from the previous entry. Nothing serious, but a mistake, just the same. Here's another chapter!_

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**Thursday, October 23**

Hey, check this out:

During G&T, instead of working on my webzine, Crackhead, I made a get-well message for Mia. It had this virtual Fat Louie in it and a short message. I just sent it to her e-mail address. I hope (really hope) she likes it, because I was up all night thinking about it.

Pathetic, I know.

Anyway, I spent the rest of my day inspecting everyone: I saw Judith researching about fruit flies, Boris, who, by the way, accidentally dropped and broke his violin case as he was trailing behind Lilly in the hallway (God knows how he could stand that bitch), and that wimp, Kenny Showalter doing something else other than what he was assigned to do during the computer club meeting. Apparently, he was checking his e-mail, which was actually pretty much prohibited during that time. I let him off for a while, but when he wouldn't concentrate, I said,

"Kenny, go back to work," with a very bossy voice that could only remind me of – Lilly.

I was actually very surprised to hear myself say that, since I'm usually a very patient person. I was also very pissed, and I had no idea why… well, OK, I had a clue, but…

I'm not the type of person who just practically yells at everyone just because they're not doing what they're supposed to do – or rather, because they're not supposed to have a crush on my sister's best friend…

Anyway, right after I said that, Felix looked at me with one of his eyebrows raised, "Woah, temper much?"

"Shut up," I told him

Judith looked concerned. She asked me what was wrong. I told her that I was just really stressed out from a lot of stuff.

Which was a lie, of course.

The truth was – I had a very bad feeling about something… I just didn't know what it was.


	4. Friday, October 24

_A/N: If you see some grammatical errors, please tell me! I'm a perfectionist, and I totally want to hear the "negative side" of your thoughts. They will really come in handy. It's for the future readers out there. Ha Ha. Anyway, I still don't feel the loooove. Please review! :)_

**Friday, October 24**

Mia came to school today, fully recovered.

I, on the other hand, was in an opposite state.

I had this major headache and I couldn't concentrate at _all_. I thought I heard Mia say something but there was this pounding in my head and I practically couldn't hear anything.

Anyway, I went to the nurse's office to get some ibuprofen, but, apparently, it's against the school's drug code. Mia gave me her cough syrup, though, and I thought, _Hey, This is better than nothing!_

I also had this crazy idea that Mia probably did it because she cared for me, (A/N: Grammatical error here? :\ IDK. I'm lost) but soon enough, I snapped out of that stupid dream of mine and went back to working on my site.

It was actually a pretty good damn thing that Boris stopped playing his violin. I thought I was going to die then and there.

**Later Friday…**

Oh, great.

I heard that Mia was sent to the principal's office.

Why, you ask?

Well, because of that cough syrup she gave me.

I should've known better. I mean, _what was I thinking?_

This is not good. I mean, she only sees me as a _friend…_ _and_ her best friend's brother. Instead of seeing me as more than that, she's going to think that I'm some kind of stupid moron that got her into trouble.

Way to go, Michael Moscovitz.

That's it. Mia hates me.

But, seriously! I mean, Principal Gupta's taking this _way_ too seriously. It's just a _cough syrup,_ for God's freaking sake! Not marijuana!


	5. Saturday, October 25

_A/N: OK, I invented the watermelon part. xD Tell me what you think!_

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**Saturday, October 25**

Mia's coming over.

I wanted to go home as quickly as possible because – well, let's just say I was worried about what'll happen to Mia.

OK, I know that it's highly unlikely, considering that she has a bodyguard and all – and I know that it sounds COMPLETELY stupid – but it's possible. Once you're in my sister's clutches, you'll know what I mean. Believe me. I've known her for _years._

Anyway, after that lesson about quasars (which are, by the way, similar to stars and NOT galaxies) I took the subway train back to Manhattan. I arrived just in time because, guess what?

As I passed Lilly's room, I knew that she and her friends were up to something so I decided to watch them – well, OK, just Mia – from the open door. Just as I was about to ask Mia what the hell was she going to do with the eggplant, she threw it from the window.

And we were several stories high…

In a high-rise apartment,

Oh, but it doesn't matter anyway because _it's just a typical garden vegetable,_ according to my INSANELY STUPID sister, Lilly.

She's underestimating the eggplant. Doesn't she know that a typical garden vegetable can knock someone on the head which will soon lead to an inevitable police investigation?

Oh, no, no. because, apparently, my sister thinks that she's some high-ranking immortal freak in this mortal world who never gets into trouble because, apparently, immortal freaks like her know absolutely _everything._

And, besides, how can Mia be such a pushover? All she has to do is kick some freaking immortal Lilly butt and send her flying across the room.

That's all, nothing much.

I mean, I do that all the time…

Well, not the "immortal-butt" thing but the "standing-up-to-my-own-sister" thing.

ANYWAY, when I saw Mia throw an eggplant out the room's window, I instinctively ran over to her and pulled her down to the floor. "Get down!" I hissed, and they all did as I commanded.

They were all pretty shocked to see me there – well, _Mia_ was shocked. She thought I was still back in Columbia. Everyone was paying more attention to _me_ and my sudden appearance_,_ not the damn eggplant and the serious damage it could've made. HOW CAN THEY NOT FREAK OUT OVER THE DAMN EGGPLANT?

"Are you guys stupid or what?" I exclaimed, with a really angry tone to go along with it. "Don't you know, besides the fact that it's a good way to kill someone, it's also against the law to drop things out a window in New York City?"

"Oh, Michael," Lilly said, looking completely annoyed by my sudden interruption of their risky experiment. "Grow up. It was just a common garden vegetable,"

A _common garden vegetable?_ Well, believe it or not, Lilly, but a _common garden vegetable_ can actually hit someone on the head – hard, and send that person to the EMERGENCY ROOM.

"I'm serious." I said, even more annoyed this time. "If anyone saw Mia do that just now, she could be arrested."

"No she couldn't. She's a minor."

"She could still go to juvenile court. You'd better not be planning on airing that footage on your show,"

"I most certainly am."

See? I _told_ you. She _never_ listens.

"Lilly," I said, trying to make her see the 'bigger picture' of the whole incident, "Everybody knows who Mia is. If you air that segment, it will be all over the news that the princess of Genovia was caught on tape dropping projectiles out the window of her friend's high-rise apartment. Get a clue, will you?"

As I was saying that, I noticed that I was still holding Mia's waist. I let her go, completely embarrassed on the inside.

"Lilly, Michael's right," said one of Lilly's friends, Tina. "We better edit that part out. Mia doesn't need any more publicity than she already has."

THANK GOD. At least someone else besides me was SANE enough to take my side. Mia, I noticed, wasn't saying anything. She just stared at us, her face looking completely blank.

Lilly got up and went towards the window, but I held her back. God, how can she be so freaking stubborn? Didn't she just _hear _what I said? "Rule Number One," I said. "If you insist on dropping something out the window, never, ever check to see if anybody is standing down there, looking up. They will see you look out and figure what apartment you are in. Then you will be blamed for dropping whatever it was. Because no one but the guilty party would be looking out the window in such circumstances."

"Wow, Michael," Shameeka, another friend of Lilly's, said. "You sound like you've done this before."

OK, I'll admit: I've been doing the same kind of stuff back when Lilly was still 6. Only, I threw a watermelon out the window, not an eggplant. I'll tell you no more than that because I don't want to talk about it. Believe me, I learned my lesson.

"Let's just say I used to have a very keen interest in experimenting with the earth's gravitational pull." I said, instead of telling them about my childhood experience.

Anyway, after that, I decided to go back to my room. I was so exhausted from what had happened. This kind of thing always happens whenever I have to explain something to Lilly and she's too stubborn to hear me out.

So, there you go,

What a day.


	6. Sunday, October 26

_A/N: aaaand BAM! Another chapter! You're welcome. REVIEW! BTW, I'm not so sure about the, you know, "sofa" thing. I don't even think the Moscovitzes _have _a sofa… I DON'T KNOW. I'm freaking out. Tell me what you think!_

**Sunday, October 26**

I was lounging on the sofa, scanning through all the channels, looking for a show worth my time, when something caught my attention:

A certain _TwentyFour/Seven _commercial featuring the one and only – you guessed it! – Mia Thermopolis.

Lilly freaked out, of course, and stole the remote from me. She turned the volume up and stared at the TV; Here eyes were wide open and her mouth slowly formed an "O". She took the phone and started dialing someone.

I was all, "Wait. What are you doing?" even though I already knew what she was doing.

She didn't answer me. Finally, someone answered at the second ring and Lilly was practically shouting onto the phone. I thought my ear drums were going to explode. I went to my room and shut the door. Unfortunately, Lilly's voice at the moment was too loud to be muffled by the walls and door of my bedroom. Anyway, she said something like this:

"What's this I hear about you being interviewed on TwentyFour/Seven this week?"

She was talking to Mia. That was obvious enough. Mia was probably all, "How'd you know?" because Lilly said,

"Because there are commercials announcing it every five minutes, dorkus."

Short pause (for about 2 seconds);

Did Mia say something within those two seconds? No idea.

"So why didn't you tell me you are going to be on TV?"

I don't understand the reason why Lilly's fussing about this. I mean, it's just an interview. What's so wrong about that? Does Mia need to ask _permission_ from Lilly before making a special appearance on TV – or more specifically, _TwentyFour/Seven_?

"NO BIG DEAL? You were interviewed by Beverly Bellerieve and it was NO BIG DEAL? Don't you realize that BEVERLY BELLERIEVE IS ONE OF AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR AND HARD-HITTING JOURNALISTS, and that she is my all-time ROLE MODEL and HERO?" she screamed in such a loud voice that nearly made me jump in shock.

Wow. She never told me that Beverly is actually her "all-time role model and hero". I guess it's because we're practically mortal enemies, and we don't talk to each other unless it's necessarily important like – "Hey, Lilly, it's your turn to wash the dishes," and "Lilly, WILL YOU SHUT UP? I CAN HEAR YOU FROM HERE." And "There's such a thing called PRIVACY, Lilly. Also, can you READ those signs I have on my door? Or do you have a cataract?"

"The only reason I'm not mad at you is that tomorrow you are going to tell me every single little detail about it." She said onto the phone.

_What?_ And more importantly, WHY? It's not like Mia did anything wrong, for God's freaking sake!

Anyway, I wasn't able to hear the rest, no matter how much I tried to.

I started formulating plans…

Here's the best I could come up with: maybe I should grab something from the Fridge to – you know – hear more from their conversation…

Wait. I think she's done talking. I can't hear any more noise.

I'll take a peek.

Yep, Lilly's gone. She's probably in her room right now, turning into an evil witch.. or a scary vampire...

Though I'm not sure it's the time of day to turn into either one of those...


	7. Monday, October 27

_A/N: So, I just had to hurry up and do this. I'm not making any excuses. Yeah, I've been busy with school and whatnot, but I could have had time to continue this fanfic. I guess I was just too lazy. THIS IS A CONFESSION! Don't get mad at me. Here's an update to make it up to everyone! I was REALLY motivated by your reviews. I was touched. I was, like, "Yeah, I haven't updated this in a while…" and so I ran to my bedroom, got my copy of the second book of Princess Diaries and started where I left off. I couldn't really remember anything from the book, so I'm planning on re-reading it. The next update might take a while, but don't worry! I'm a fast reader. Expect another update in a day or two. JULIA, I obviously have not forgotten about this fanfic. Just a few minutes ago, I was innocently skimming through my mails and I saw four unread ones that were, surprisingly, sent today: someone recently commented on my fan fic! I almost didn't see it, because I had so many Facebook notifications. It got mixed with because they both start with the letter F. Haha! Anyway, thanks so much __**amikins **__and __**XxX_Loveless19_XxX**__. If it weren't for your reviews, I would have never updated this…_

_I would love to improve, so of you have any suggestions, go ahead and make a review! Also, I think I have some typos and grammatical errors. I was in a hurry when I did this. (It's already midnight. I wasn't able to sleep, so I decided to check my mail, and I ended up doing this. I really want to sleep now. It's scary here. I'm in the basement. All of our computers are in the basement, and unfortunately, this is the only place where we can use the internet.)_

_AMIKINS, I just turned 14 when I started writing this, you know. =)))) But I'm 15 now. Thanks so much. I'm glad that you don't think the way I write is childish._

**Monday, October 27**

So I was too curious about the whole phone call ordeal between Lilly and Mia that I had to go online… you know, just to show Mia that I'll always be available whenever my sister tries to torture her with her invalid arguments. Of course, I had to wait for Mia to go online, and that was just assuming that she would, but I had my eyes open, just in case. And I also had to ask her if she could come to the Rocky Horror Picture Show (It was originally Kenny's suggestion to invite other people, saying it would be more fun that way. Lilly also wanted to go, saying she doesn't have anything better to do at Halloween. I couldn't agree more).

CracKing: Hey. Just saw you on TV. You were good.  
FtLouie: What are you talking about? I made a complete and utter fool of myself. And what about Mrs. Hill? They're probably going to fire her now.  
CracKing: Well, at least you told the truth.

So much for being there for Mia in her time of need. I can't even give a proper advice.

FtLouie: But all these people are mad at me now! Lilly's furious!

Not everybody…

CracKing: She's just jealous because you had more people watching you in that fifteen-minute segment that all the people who've ever watched all of her shows put together.

Yes! Good one. I actually managed to compose a 28-word sentence that might actually make Mia feel better.

FtLouie: No, that's not why. She thinks I've betrayed our generation, or something, by revealing that cliques exist at Albert Einstein high School.

…or not.

CracKing: Well, that, and the fact that you claimed you don't belong to any of them.

OK, what am I saying? I'm not trying to make her feel better, am I?

FtLouie: Well, I don't.  
CracKing: Yes, you do. Lilly likes to think you belong to the exclusive and highly selective Lilly Moscovitz clique. Only you neglected to mention this, and that has upset her.

Oh. Wow. I can see where I'm going with this. I guess I'm actually making Mia feel better… in a way.

FtLouie: Really? Did she say that?

SCORE!

The only problem now is… Lilly didn't say that.

CracKing: She didn't say it, but she's my sister. I know the way she thinks.

Phew. Safe.

FtLouie: Maybe. I don't know, Michael.  
CracKing: Look, are you all right? You were a mess at school today… although now it's clear why. That's pretty cool about your mom and Mr. Gianini. You must be excited.

Under normal circumstances, I would have been all, "YOUR MOM AND MR. GIANINI ARE HAVING A BABY? HAHAHAHHAHAHHAH."

I guess I've totally lost it. I need to schedule an appointment with my parents about this.

FtLouie: I guess so. I mean, it's kind of embarrassing. But at least this time my mom's getting married, like a normal person.  
CracKing: Now you won't need my help with your Algebra homework anymore. You'll have your own personal tutor right there at home.

-Me hoping Mia would say she'd still want me to be her tutor.-

FtLouie: Well, I don't know. I mean, he's going to be awfully busy for a while, moving in, and then there'll be the baby and everything.  
CracKing: God. A baby. I can't believe it. No wonder you were wigging out so badly today.

-Me thanking God Mia still wanted me as her tutor.-

FtLouie: Yeah, I really was. Wigging out, I mean.  
CracKing: And what about that thing this afternoon with Lana.? That couldn't have helped much. Though it was pretty funny, her thinking we were going out, huh.

I couldn't help but bring it up, really.

FtLouie: Yeah, she's such a headcase. I guess it's never occurred to her that two people of the opposite sex can just be friends, with no romantic involvement.

Ouch. I seriously hope I hadn't brought it up. Change topic… this is too much for me to handle.

CracKing: Yeah. Listen, what are you doing Friday night?  
FtLouie: I don't know. Why?  
CracKing: Because it's Halloween, you know. I thought a bunch of us could get together and go see The Rocky Horror Picture Show over at the Village Cinema.  
FtLouie: Can I get back to you? I may have a family obligation that evening.  
CracKing: Sure. Just let me know. Well, see you tomorrow.  
FtLouie: Yeah. I can't wait.  
CracKing: Don't worry. You were telling the truth. You can't get in trouble for telling the truth.

And that was the end of our discussion. I think I did pretty well, actually.


End file.
